chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
