So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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