he thought i was a dude.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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