she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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