So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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