who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
