I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
