scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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