I just cut my nipple shaving
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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