She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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