I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
