So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
