That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
