Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize