jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
