TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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