Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Drunk is not a location!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
