Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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