I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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