We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize