I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
