I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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