I hate your face
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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