I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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