margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
