It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
