I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
