I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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