Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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