Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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