my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
