She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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