someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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