she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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