You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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