Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize