The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
