I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
