It's Friday. Sex?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
