her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
how does that bad decision feel?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
