i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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