Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
