I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize