i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
