loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
