Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Sober January is a disaster.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
