Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
