sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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