how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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