Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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