you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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