you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
