Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
