Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
