Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You need a sexual gate keeper
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
