Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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