Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
