either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize