Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
