hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
