he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
