ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
